Smallest citizens of the world unite! The travel writer mom of a jet-setting two-year-old shares her most important lessons learned during two years of continent hopping. These are Travel+Leisure Southeast Asia’s top 10 tips for travelling with toddlers.
FIFTEEN COUNTRIES on five continents, 95 hotels, and 79 flights—in two years. This is not a recap of your average travel writer’s schedule but the actual jet-setting statistics of my daughter, Indah, who is 25 months old as I write this. Utterly ridiculous, I know. I often hear, “I want to be Indah when I grow up.” And, honestly, same! Personally, I was 30 years old when I landed in my 15th country, and for sure older when I’d racked up nearly 100 luxury hotels, many of them award-winning and legendary. But such is the life of a Bali-dwelling, American travel journalist’s first child—I’ve simply chosen not to go anywhere without her… yet.
Indah has stayed in a US$10,000 per night hotel suite with its own private indoor swimming pool at the Downtown L.A. Proper, where she drifted in a flamingo floaty backdropped by an 11-meter custom ceramic mural. She’s met meerkats down at their level on the red sand of the Kalahari Desert on safari at Tswalu, where they seemed just as curious about her as she was them. Indah once woke up to a giant giraffe head poking in the window of our room at Giraffe Manor, and spotted a “baby shark” during lunch at Subsix underwater restaurant at Niyama Private Islands Maldives. Recently she learned how to ski on Colorado’s legendary Vail Mountain, rode her first a horse at The Sanubari on Sumba Island, and actually savored several Michelin-starred Cantonese meals in Hong Kong, slurping up fish maw soup and downing wagyu.
Here’s my disclaimer: My husband and I have an extremely chill child, super adaptable, easy going and friendly. (Knock on wood.) But I suspect that might also be a result of all her diverse travels and experiences with fresh faces, different languages, and new situations. Here, my best tips and tricks for getting your babies or toddlers out in the world travelling like a pro, too.
And just remember, even what may seem like a disaster in the moment can make for a funny story later. Give yourself—and your kiddo—some grace.
A Travel Writer’s 10 Top Tips to Travelling With a Toddler
1. Explain everything to prepare your little ones in advance of going anywhere.
Obviously a nine-month-old baby is not going to truly understand what you’re talking about when you say you’re boarding an airplane to Bangkok next week. But toddlers are smart, and earlier than we might think they start to process all that information and react accordingly. Personally, I believe the more information you give them pre-trip the better they’ll do. Indah now knows what to expect when going through the airport, flying on a plane, and checking into a hotel because we talk about it all the time. Fewer surprises usually equals better behaviour, whereas kids may act out if they’re feeling out of the loop, confused and dragged around.
2. Get comfortable with loosening your daily routine.
It’s a fact of life when travelling, especially through time zones: Elements of your daily schedule will get thrown off. And that’s OK! I started off neurotic about nursing, meal- and nap times until I realized that Indah was not typically affected by them shifting. And that my stress rubbed off on her. I’ve also found that as long as she naps sometime, no matter when, we usually get through the day quite happily. Keep the vibe light. If you are unwilling to adapt your routine you may miss out on the fun and excitement of the place you’re in, and then what’s the point of even travelling?
3. Start small—and short. And embrace the layover.
Don’t do the transpacific flight immediately if you can help it. Take shorter hops or even road trips with babies and toddlers first to get used to how you adapt to travelling together. And when you do start the long-hauls, accept the fact that none of you will likely sleep much on the plane—it’s too exciting! Bank sleep in the days leading up to the trip if possible. And consider adding a layover or stopover for the opportunity to stretch your legs and give the little one time to run around, even if it’s not the most efficient route. Take it from me, cabin fever is real when your child won’t sleep and you’re on hour nine of a 17-hour flight.
4. Be extra, even over, prepared for the plane.
For me the perfect diaper bag for a flight contains at least six diapers, wipes, an extra change of clothing for baby and you (accidents literally always happen), spill-proof water bottle and milk bottle (we love Yeti’s Rambler Jr.), new—not noisy—toys they’ve never seen (stickers, LED drawing tablets), snacks, and a small favourite stuffed animal. When they’re old enough to watch movies, consider packing your own kid-sized, noise-cancelling headphones. Of Indah’s 79 flights, only one Cathay Pacific and one Singapore Air plane offered small ones. Even now I prefer to dress her in something that snaps all the way down her legs so I can avoid removing shoes and pants for diaper changes. (Up next, our first flight post–potty training!) And be sure to add your under-two-year-old as a lap infant ahead of time.
5. Pack comforts from home.
One great tip received from a veteran parent of jet-setting babies and toddlers is to bring along Indah’s slept-on sheet from home—with its familiar scent—to help her feel comfortable in a hotel crib while travelling. Since it seemed to work we did that religiously until recently. We also always bring her lightweight blanket and a stuffed animal for cuddling. We never used a sound machine (or blackout shades) regularly to encourage Indah be adaptable in new environment, but if your babe is accustomed to one make sure to bring it. Also, we pack enough diapers and wipes for the entire trip so we don’t have track them down in a foreign place—the bonus is that you end up with extra space in your luggage for shopping and souvenirs along the way!
6. Personalise the hotel room.
When hotel rooms have gargantuan bathrooms or walk-in closets we roll Indah’s crib in and keep the door partially open. That’s right: put the baby in the bathroom. She always sleeps so much better in her own space and, since she goes down by 7 p.m., it frees up the room for us to actually hang out—quietly—at night. If you need to store milk, always ask for a mini fridge (minibars are often not cold enough or are too full), and pack your own bottle brush and dish soap. Don’t forget to put the ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign or light on while baby’s sleeping and, if the hotel does turndown service, call ahead to schedule it early.
7. Make use of the kids club and hotel amenities.
Many properties not only offer complimentary cribs or baby cots but can provide additional essentials on request such as bottle warmers and sterilizers, no-tear baby soap, bathtubs, and other gear. Four Seasons Resort The Nam Hai had a stroller waiting for us; Rosewood Hong Kong provided a cute shark-shaped tub, Four Seasons Hotel Hong Kong gifted Indah an adorable baby Bulgari toiletry kit, and Capella Sydney—where Indah was the very first child guest—set up a sweet teepee and night sky projector one night.
This might not seem like an insider’s travelling tip but I hadn’t fully understood the value until the last year of hotel kids clubs, which are incredible places to give your toddlers and up a change of scenery and new toys to play with. Six Senses Ninh Van Bay’s, Jumeirah Bali’s and Joali Maldives’ are a few that completely wowed all of us. Note that typically kids under four must be accompanied by a parent—or babysitter.
8. Let them meet the locals.
One major reason I wanted Indah to travel is for exposure to other cultures, languages and people, so we’ve embraced opportunities to interact with locals. And that includes high fives and photo ops with strangers everywhere from markets to airports. Don’t be afraid of utilizing a hotel’s vetted babysitters. It’s a safe time for your child to potentially hear a new language, get comfortable with someone who’s not you, and explore their independence. Plus, it gives you time to relax, explore or even sleep. Indah has loved making friends with servers at resort restaurants; they love taking her on little field trips.
At Tswalu in South Africa, the camp’s full-time nanny took her to the spa where I found therapists rubbing her feet and feeding her biscuits. A tip for their acclimatizing and your parental pride: When your toddler does start talking, help them learn a word or phrase in the language where you’re travelling. It’s a very cute icebreaker, instantly charming people and eliciting smiles. Even six months after we visited, if Indah hears “Thailand” she says “sawadika.”
9. Schedule half as many activities as you used to.
Whatever you would plan to do over the course of a day pre-baby, cut it in half and maybe still subtract one thing. As someone who notoriously used to pack in engagements I’ve become content doing fewer things but with more depth. Book dinners, especially fancy ones, early—very early—to avoid being responsible for ruining other diners’ meal with a melting-down toddler. We always bring to restaurants what my husband calls the “go bag.” It’s a kit of things to do: coloured pencils and a notebook, genius wax-covered yarn called Wiki Stix, a puzzle book, and a pop toy.
10. Continue to do you.
The point of all these tips is to help you preserve sense of self while being the type of parent you want to be, and if you start them travelling young you should be able to get away with doing a lot of the same things you did before, only adapted to babies- or toddlers-friendly timing. Don’t miss out on the magic of travel. Know that you don’t have to do all the available kid stuff—they likely won’t remember it anyway. Hire a babysitter one night or take turns going out for a solo evening after your little one is asleep or have a nap time adventure while your partner or travel companion stays back in the room.
To see Indah’s life in luxury travel, watch the video here.
All images courtesy of Kathryn Romeyn, unless otherwise noted.